roar..my tag board isn't working :/ so i'll write what i wanted to say here:
if you've undergone COMM 101 at SMU, you would know all about negative message writing. or maybe if you've done a similar module at other institutions u would also know how a typical negative message is structured. typically, there's the beginning paragraph that serves as a buffer before the negative message is revealed, often, buried in a tediously long second paragraph. that is more or less what i plan to do now, that's why i'm talking all about negative message writing crap, haha. i'm applying a similar tactic here, but for a different purpose, so that people like me who dislike to ply through long prose, will be deterred from reading the content that follows. i'm not putting a title to this entry too so that the main point wouldn't immediately be apparent. so this entry will be a whole long continuous paragraph, be warned! stop reading now if you want to. stop. reading. now. okay, i'm just buying more..words? (time?) okay if you're still reading on, good for you, you'll finally know what i really want to talk about in this entry. well, what got me down to typing this entry is that recently i've come to know of people (family, friends and acquaintances), who've drifted out of old relationships and into new ones. i think this sort of thing is getting more common nowadays? i don't really know because i've had no prior experience. i know that quite a number of people who know me can't believe that but that is the truth. actually i think if those people knew me better they may not have found it surprising, because i'm quite a guarded person, and i'm no social creature. haha. back to the point. i was wondering about myself. about relationships. about people. come to think of it, i'm actually scared. i'm frightened by the thought of getting involved in a relationship. i'm worried about having another person look deep into me and then realising how much flaws i have. and i'm also scared of being hurt. i've seen my own sis go through hell, and then recover, then go through hell again. it's heart-wrenching just for me to witness her go through whatever she went through, what more if i were her? that's a rather terrifying thought. but the thought of not having someone to love and share your joy with (other than family) is also sad and scary. imagine feeling lonely and outcasted..it's different from being alone! being alone can mean giving yourself 'me' time; time to reflect and simply spend time by yourself. feeling lonely however doesn't necessarily mean that you're alone, rather, it means that your heart is lonely and you feel a sense of isolation, as if a curtain separating you from the people around you has been drawn. ironic, don't you think? okay i think it's time i end this outrageously long paragraph. congrats if you've managed to read up to the full-stop at the end of this line. :)