gjy's blog

Monday, January 07, 2008

random + 1st day of school

roar..my tag board isn't working :/ so i'll write what i wanted to say here:

i wanted to say that i'm not feeling lonely (at least for now n i think/hope for some time to come)! :) i was just reflecting on being alone, loneliness and relationship stuff in general in my previous entry...so don't worry! (if u were worried about me) haha :)

oh, and i realised that my previous entry was really quite crappy, with all the negative message nonsense and all. haha!

Anyway, today was my first day of school. it was pretty lax, with only 1.5h of AS (ie. Analytical Skills) class. My prof's Brian Mooney. He seems amiable enough, and he's quite funny too, though sometimes I've a little trouble appreciating his sense of humour for certain things. He's an easy-going guy from Ireland, who lives by the Irish traditions, like loving to drink beer, calling movies 'the pictures' instead of movies, and singing Irish songs? (he sang in class!) Actually I've no idea whether these are Irish traditions, but I have a feeling they may be. The greatest surprise I got from the class wasn't Brian's antics, but the fact that Shiyan was in my class too! Both of us were equally surprised and happy. haha! I didn't realise that I forgot to compare my schedule with hers. Sadly we don't have any other classes in common..

Stats and BGS (ie. Biz, govt & society) tomorrow! And I don't know whether I'll know anyone in both classes :/ I'm a bit scared for BGS cos I heard that my prof's pretty strict! He's definitely not the laid-back sort, judging from the comprehensive course outline n schedule he sent to all of his students. The schedule details exactly what you've to prepare, what learning pts u shld take home etc. And that's not just for the next few weeks; it's for the whole of the term! He has his very own website too. Pretty impressive huh? Oh, and he mentioned in his email to us that he may give us a quiz on our syllabus on our very first meeting (ie. first lesson, ie. tomorrow)! I think you understand why I'm feeling the way I do right? hurhur.

scribbledY10:42 PM

Friday, January 04, 2008

if you've undergone COMM 101 at SMU, you would know all about negative message writing. or maybe if you've done a similar module at other institutions u would also know how a typical negative message is structured. typically, there's the beginning paragraph that serves as a buffer before the negative message is revealed, often, buried in a tediously long second paragraph. that is more or less what i plan to do now, that's why i'm talking all about negative message writing crap, haha. i'm applying a similar tactic here, but for a different purpose, so that people like me who dislike to ply through long prose, will be deterred from reading the content that follows. i'm not putting a title to this entry too so that the main point wouldn't immediately be apparent. so this entry will be a whole long continuous paragraph, be warned! stop reading now if you want to. stop. reading. now. okay, i'm just buying more..words? (time?) okay if you're still reading on, good for you, you'll finally know what i really want to talk about in this entry. well, what got me down to typing this entry is that recently i've come to know of people (family, friends and acquaintances), who've drifted out of old relationships and into new ones. i think this sort of thing is getting more common nowadays? i don't really know because i've had no prior experience. i know that quite a number of people who know me can't believe that but that is the truth. actually i think if those people knew me better they may not have found it surprising, because i'm quite a guarded person, and i'm no social creature. haha. back to the point. i was wondering about myself. about relationships. about people. come to think of it, i'm actually scared. i'm frightened by the thought of getting involved in a relationship. i'm worried about having another person look deep into me and then realising how much flaws i have. and i'm also scared of being hurt. i've seen my own sis go through hell, and then recover, then go through hell again. it's heart-wrenching just for me to witness her go through whatever she went through, what more if i were her? that's a rather terrifying thought. but the thought of not having someone to love and share your joy with (other than family) is also sad and scary. imagine feeling lonely and outcasted..it's different from being alone! being alone can mean giving yourself 'me' time; time to reflect and simply spend time by yourself. feeling lonely however doesn't necessarily mean that you're alone, rather, it means that your heart is lonely and you feel a sense of isolation, as if a curtain separating you from the people around you has been drawn. ironic, don't you think? okay i think it's time i end this outrageously long paragraph. congrats if you've managed to read up to the full-stop at the end of this line. :)

scribbledY12:05 AM