fortunately the way ryan works is such that he helps to train and nurture dancers; he has arranged for a training class too, aside from the performance team - which is great! yay (: it'll be a good chance for me to finally pick up some hiphop moves man. i've always wanted to learn, but i've never really got a chance to be trained in that genre. and another wonderful thing is that he holds auditions periodically for those in the training team, so if you improve and perform well enough, you can actually enter the performance team. that's really good news for me (: i'm determined to pick up this new dance genre, so i'll work hard at it!

i don't think anyone really reads my blog, but yea, i wanna thank 2 people here. the first person is this girl, whose name i've unfortunately forgotten..i met her at bondue camp run 2. yep, she said i dance really well (i had to dance as a forfeit during the ice-breaker games). that simple compliment helped to raise my spirits when i was feeling rather downcast after the emix auditions. thank you!

and the other person i wanna thank is jialing! she messaged me to tell me that she asked ryan about my case. and apparently i was eliminated cos when i forgot the steps, i stopped. he specifically asked us to keep going even if we forget any steps. he was looking out not so much for the steps, but the style and attitude (which i admittedly don't have for hiphop, haha). i'm really quite touched that she actually was concerned enough to ask about me. thank you soo much! (: this is one of those times when you feel remembered and cared for. i thought that jialing may've sorta forgotten a junior like me, cos i joined chi dance at ny quite late, and for chi dance at hc i only got to work with her for syf. she was more committed to hc MAD. yup, so i feel a lot better now. especially in schools like SMU, where it's pretty competitive and like there are so many popular and sociable people around, there's a tendency for people like me to feel lost and not feel a sense of belonging. hopefully that will soon change!

haha, i think i'm really too guai. like i feel uncomfortable clubbing and i don't like to drink, and i don't have attitude so i can't dance hiphop - yet.(haha, i keep emphasising "yet" so that i remain positive. if not it'll seem like it's the end - can't do it now means can't ever do it.) sometimes i think i'm too mild, too plain, too unexciting. that's bad right? i think guys like spunky, sassy girls. i know i'm shooting myself down, but i think i've quite a lousy personality - so un-fun. take so long to warm up to people, and always tend to keep a distance from people unless i get to know them really well and i feel comfortable in their presence. boo...

anyway vodka tastes horrible. absolutely disgusting. it's so bitter and it tastes like medicine :s i tried it during the freshmen bash. i can't understand why people actually drink it! i think the only reason would be that they wanna get the feeling of being 'high' when they get drunk. and it costs so much at clubs. personally i think it's a real waste of money to fork out so much in exchange for something that's a torture to drink. yuck.